Worrying about how to write your own wedding vows? It’s a big undertaking to sit down and try to sum up all your affection, dreams, and promises to your partner in a few short minutes. Overwhelming as it can be, it is more than worth it! It’s a chance to tell your love story, give your guests a peek into what makes your relationship work, and share meaningful words of love with the person you have chosen to love forever.
Wedding vows are intimate and challenging – you really are baring your heart to your significant other, and you’re doing it in front of your family and closest friends. “It’s not easy to craft a perfect wedding vow yourself. However, it doesn’t make sense to do anything other than that. Vows need to be truthful and come from the heart”, says a senior writer and content editor at BestEssayEducation, Melanie Sovann. If you’re ready to start tackling that challenging task, here are the most important tips:
1. Don’t forget to say “I love you”
This seems like a no-brainer, but saying I love you, especially during such a moment means a lot and gives that additional note of romance to the entire story. Don’t be afraid to say it.
2. Tell your partner you’ll be there through good and bad
The majority of wedding vows, be it traditional or personal—are usually based on the “through sickness and health, through good times and bad times, and for richer or for poorer” part. The reality is that all marriages have their ups and downs, so it is nice to communicate your willingness to get through those moments together.
3. Share personal stories
It’s far more interesting for your friends and family to hear about your odd habits and personal moments, so don’t be embarrassed to talk about the highs and the lows. Many people tend to be hesitant to get real in their vows, but that is actually what your guests want to hear; because we all know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. These also act as relatable moments everyone can understand.
4. Make actual promises
Vows shouldn’t just be cute anecdotes—they should be a promise, a serious commitment you’re making to your partner, and that you’re making in front of those you love. However, that doesn’t mean they have to be heavy, or too serious. The important thing is to mean what you’re saying and to try to do your best in keeping these promises.
5. Acknowledge the support you’ll need from others
You’ve gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding day, but the honest truth is, you’ll need them just as much during your marriage. So, it would be good to acknowledge the role of, family and friends in making your marriage work; since they will be the ones who will help and support you when times get tough.
6. Don’t wait until the last minute
When planning a wedding and the details around it, timing is everything. Estelle Liotard, a writer and content marketing specialist at TrustMyPaper, shares her experience: “Every time there’s a daunting task that you have months to prepare, we tend to do it at the last minute, which is known as Parkinson’s law. That’s why we get dozens of requests from soon-to-be newlyweds to write their wedding vows a couple of days before the ceremony”.
Therefore, plan to have your vows written at least three weeks before your wedding. Trust us, when the last-minute stress kicks in, that will be the last thing you would want to worry about.
7. Make a list of all your thoughts
You don’t have to try to put everything into meaningful sentences right away. Simply write down the things you love about your future spouse, what is making you happy about your marriage and what promises you want to make to your future significant other. Revisit these notes later, after your thoughts have calmed down a bit, and highlight your favorite things. Use those as the starting point for your wedding vows.
8. Avoid words like “always” and “never”
This kind of strong language is something you will hardly be able to live up to, in real life. It’s not always going to be easy, on the contrary, so don’t promise perfection. It is best to keep it realistic.
9. Embrace your feelings and don’t worry about being cheesy
Writing your vows isn’t the time to stress over being corny or cheesy. If the written words are heartfelt, then they’re not cheesy. Each vow is special and unique, so don’t be afraid to give it your all while writing yours.
10. Go after laughter
Stressful moments often require a bit of humor to counter those feelings of anxiety and pressure. Regardless of the fact that your wedding day is the best day of your life, stress is inevitable, and all newlyweds will confirm that as a fact. That being said, the ability to make your future spouse smile and even laugh out loud during your ceremony will serve you great in your marriage.
11. Get inspired with books, songs, movies, and poems
If you have a favorite line from a movie or a poem that expresses your feelings just right, use it as a starting point. That will help you move forward in your vows and allow you to open your heart and pour your thoughts on that piece of paper that holds such an important place in your wedding ceremony.
12. Practice reading out loud
You’ve done it all right, but the only way to make sure everything will turn out perfect is to hear it out. Reading your vows out loud will help you catch those spots where the words or the grammar might be questionable; as well as make you see if the overall text makes sense as such.
13. Ask a trusted friend to listen and edit
A close friend who is a great listener, and is good at keeping secrets will be an important ally. He/she can be a constructive critic and help you improve your vows to make sure you really will send the message you want to send.
14. Keep the vows a secret from your partner until the ceremony
Your vows are a gift to each other, so don’t share before the big day. It will make the ceremony all the more meaningful and emotional if you’re hearing them for the first time at that very moment.
There is so much of importance and intensity hidden in wedding vows. We all tend to prepare and react differently while in the process of making them. Nevertheless, we hope this list will be a good guide for all future newlyweds.
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